Search Results for: sexual abuse

Anger and Sexual Abuse (4)

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In Anger and Sexual Abuse (3), we looked at how 35-year-old Jenna had been sexually abused by her stepfather as a child and was now taking out her rage at this injustice on the world at large. She had just lost her job as a lawyer and had come for counseling. Jenna had never told her mother of the abuse as she was too frightened to do so as a child and now as an adult, she didn’t see the point in raking up old wounds. Yet Jenna was in enormous pain. She couldn’t maintain long-term relationships due to her … Continue reading →

Anger and Sexual Abuse (3)

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So far in this series on the anger associated with sexual abuse, we have covered the areas of guilt and internalized anger. Today we will examine the phenomena of “anger at the world”, a behavioral trait that is often exhibited by victims of sexual abuse. Jenna had been sexually abused by her stepfather from the ages of 8 to twelve. Her own natural father had died when she was 3, and her mother relied on her stepfather for a decent standard of living. Now 35, Jenna was consumed with rage at anything and everything. She had never told her mother … Continue reading →

Anger and Sexual Abuse (2)

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In Anger and Sexual Abuse (1) we looked at the role of guilt and anger in keeping victims of sexual abuse caught in a twilight world of unrelenting personal pain and anguish. Today we will focus more on the anger itself. The anger may have two origins: the anger directed at the self as a result of sexual assault and the anger directed outwards. The anger directed at the self is particularly destructive. Shawna was a very strong person, but she did not view herself that way. Her particular incident of sexual assault involved being held prisoner and she feared … Continue reading →

Anger and Sexual Abuse (1)

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In The Guilt of Sexual Abuse we looked at the issue of guilt and how it is such a common phenomena as to be almost expected after an incident of sexual assault. Today we will look at the anger associated with this insidious crime. Anger and guilt are the flip sides of the coin of sexual abuse. They are the daily currency for many victims of sexual crimes. But while guilt often appears soon after the abusive incident, anger can take much longer to come to the surface. Guilt, that is, taking responsibility for the abuse upon yourself rather than … Continue reading →

The Use of Open-Ended Questions in Finding Out About Child Sexual Abuse

Children hate the volley of questions that they get from adults. Along with all the children I’ve worked with therapeutically over the years, my own children have told me that adult questions are like Policeman questions. Charming! When I’m trying to establish rapport and build a relationship with a child, the last thing I want to sound like is a Police person. The way you frame and use your questions is the trick. While questions are useful when starting a relationship, they can also quickly stifle it. Useful questions don’t just happen; they need planning and placement in a framework … Continue reading →

Sexual Abuse of Boys: Mebe IS NOT Having a Whale of a Time.

This is the second article on Mebe – an adult male sexually abused as a child. To read Mebe’s background story, click here. When Mebe chose his fictious name for this series of articles, he originally decided upon Moby. He reasoned that he looked like Moby Dick – large and whale like. Although he laughed at his own comparison, there was a degree of shame and embarrassment attached. After our brief discussion about his name, he pulled a packet of sweets out of his bag and began eating them. Mebe identified that sweets bought him comfort. Nobody liked him, he … Continue reading →

Sexual Abuse of Boys: Mebe’s Personal Story.

Mebe (fictious name chosen by the person concerned) was seven when a family friend started paying him a lot of attention. The friend would seek Mebe out, buy him sweets, take him on outings and treated him as a prince. Because Mebe’s parents were busy with their jobs and their other children, they were grateful that Mebe had some individual attention from such a nice, responsible man. Mebe’s behaviour became worse and worse. He did graffiti on walls, other’s property and wrote rude notes at school. Mebe was in trouble at school, home and in his heart. He was trying … Continue reading →

The Affirming Value of a Child’s Teddy – Voices from Survivors of Sexual Abuse

Teddy bears have long been the comfort of children everywhere. In an effort to reclaim the comfort of my lounge room I have this morning been packing up hundreds of teddies left over from the 2006 Cairns Teddy Tour-A-Thon to donate to children’s charities. As the Teddies beady little eyes pleaded with me not to suffocate them with my large black plastic bags, my conscience did a real Megan act and stood up against the emotionally flat and repetitious packing actions of my hands. Determined to stay strong in my task, I shut my ears and heart to the silent … Continue reading →

Sexual Abuse by Teachers

Teachers who take sexual liberties with students are increasingly featured in the news media. The cases that seem to attract the most attention involve oung, pretty, female teachers who seduce pubescent boys. And of course, when NBC Dateline airs one of the To Catch a Predator series, it always is very shocking to see them catch male sixth grade or high school teachers, or others who work with young people by profession. How do schools protect our children from abuse by trusted professionals? And how does this happen, anyway? In many states, teachers who have been convicted of any sex … Continue reading →

Homeschooling cover for child abuse and sexual exploitation?

Who comes up with this stuff? At the head of homeschooling headlines today is an article out of the UK entitled Home schooling ‘could be a cover for child abuse and sexual exploitation’. My problem is not that some people feel this way, but that some people will try to convince others of this drivel. Here are some of the items presented in this article: In some extreme cases, home education could be used as a cover for abuse. We cannot allow this to happen and are committed to doing all we can to help ensure children are safe, wherever … Continue reading →